stress at its best.

I'm so ready to give up. I feel so overwhelmed. And I want to drink to forget about each and every single one of my problems.
I have got to find peace within my own mind. And see that's what I hate about having so much on my plate. When things get too crazy, I blow it up til nothing seems right. Til not a single aspect of anything is right. And that's wrong.
I can't believe I want to quit so badly. I bought a for sale sign to put up in the truck. I'll sell it as is. For about 3500. And live easy for a while. But I can't...fuck I can't.
I hate my job. I think too much about me and him, to the point that I start to doubt us entirely. What's wrong with me????
I stopped eating. At least quit eating 3 full meals a day. a sandwich here. something else there. but I can't seem to stomach too much. shit.
oh, to be able to trade lives with someone. I'm so jealous that I have to worry about if I have enough gas to make it to work each day, while they just click their heels and their gas tanks overflow. fuck, why couldnt I get lucky.
I'm going to pray, that's all I can do, I guess. pray pray pray pray pray. fuck.